life is a mess, i dnuo where to run to , where to go , wat to do. Im stuck in the same spot again.....i've given up on hope, on life.

just wanna be happy. dats all

smoke away the troubles
& drink away the pain

There will be so many things I'll miss if ur gone

I guess I never really realized how much you do for me

And I feel like I pushed u away?.

I regret not appreciating the things u do for me

And now we feel so far apart.

I wish there was something I can do

To bring us back

To the times where we were happy

To the times where we look forward to seeing each other

To the times where nothing mattered because we got each other..

As we slowly fade away?

Life just seems so much more darker

I dun feel motivated to do anything

Cause there no one to do it for anymore

Feel like Im in this world all alone again

Youre moving on with your life with or without me

You got everything figured out

Youre moving out

And I feel like Im still in the same spot?

Not doing anything, not making any progress.

Maybe its time I give up.

im here again.
in this room, reading the things on my wall
over and over again.
and each time i read somehting diffrent, i can remember exactly wat was going on in my life, and i could feel the exact pain ...which i felt when i wrote it.
my chest feels heavy, my body?
numb
no pulse....not breathing...but yet im still alive
why? i had asked
but....no reply.

im trying soooooo hard to keep myself going, to not hurt myself, to not cry, to not let the pain control me...AND keep my head up...for you.

but i cant do it for much longer....i cant stand waking up feeling this way, going to sleep crying...i cant stand the pain..this feeling thats in the bottom of my stomach...the sharp pain thats in my chest...and how i cant falll aslleeeep at night. I cant run to you. I dun want ur help. You have done too much for me. And i cant stand accepting ur help, but i need u...or anyone..who will help me.